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#OUTLANDER GREAT DUMPS ON STUPID GAME OF THRONES CRACK#

Her daughter tries to hang on to her, but Eve insists that Izzy run to safety and rips her hand away, falling into the sinkhole, too.ДЄs for Izzy, she does run to safety, but only like 20 feet further. When Eve realizes that her son is no longer with her, she goes back to help him, only to watch in horror as he falls into the sinkhole. Teen Son decides to be a hero and picks up a little girl who has fallen down, and for his trouble, he is knocked unconscious by the panicking crowd. THE TWENTIETH ANNIVERSARY OF 9/11 WAS LITERALLY TWO WEEKS AGO, GUYS. Unable to drive any further, Eve and the kids begin running away from the gaping hole that is continuing to spread outward, devouring cars and ambulances and entire buildings. Eve throws the car into reverse and goes careening down the sidewalk, only stopping when she slams into another car.

#OUTLANDER GREAT DUMPS ON STUPID GAME OF THRONES CRACK#

Then, a dog starts barking, the road begins to crack and suddenly the street falls out from under a traffic officer, dropping her into a sinkhole that is spreading - rapidly. Meanwhile, Izzy makes some comments suggesting they move back to San Bernadino and that Eve should give their dad another chance, while Eve absentmindedly plays with her wedding ring which she is wearing on a chain around her neck. Teen Son Josh asks Teen Daughter Izzy something about her prosthetic leg - because she only has one leg - and makes eyes at the cute teen girl in the next car over. And now, EXPOSITION CRAM JAM: The underappreciated (and Harris County native!) Natalie Zea, whose characterвЂ™s name is ~checks notes and sighs in HITTING US OVER THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER~ вЂњEve,вЂќ is driving her older teens to school and running late to her job doing вЂ¦ who knows. ItвЂ™s Los Angeles, Wilshire Blvd., typical morning traffic. Ugh, I could rant all day, so letвЂ™s just push pause on that for now and get to the recap of this stupid bad show. Adults made this! Adults looked at this and said, вЂњYes, this is good. I am ASTOUNDED at the sheer laziness on display here. Friends, this pilot episode is as if two not very bright 6th graders rewrote the Lost pilot after having come home from a field trip to the La Brea Tar Pits Museum.

IвЂ™ve seen plenty of reviews of La Brea calling it a Lost ripoff or a wannabe Lost, but these descriptions do not do justice to the amount of theft that La Brea committed in this episode. None of them stole entire plot points and characters and theories, and none of them dared to recreate entire scenes shot-for-shot. Lost worked - so just take the things about Lost that made it work and plug them into a new show and recreate the magic! But while all of these shows used flashbacks or mysteries or both, none of them - not one - just ripped off Lost whole hog. In fact, it was possibly the last network show that we would watch together.ДЄnd this is why there have been so many Lost ripoffs since: Flash Forward, Manifest, The Event, Once Upon a Time, The Nine, V, Heroes even. We can argue about the ending at another time: the point is everyone watched that ending, and had an opinion about it. Everyone watched it, and we all talked about it in real time. Hollywood knows that we like the familiar, that we are like 6-year-olds who only want to eat chicken nuggets for dinner every night.ДЄnd Lost worked.

ItвЂ™s why we are trapped inside the Marvel Cinematic Universe, why there are dozens of Star Wars projects suddenly, why shows get turned into movies and movies get turned into shows and why no show is safe from being rebooted one day down the road. HereвЂ™s the thing: Hollywood is a lazy and expensive place, so if something works, if something makes a ton of money, they do whatever they can to replicate that magic. And as for Stumptown, I didnвЂ™t hate it at all if anything, my lack of hate for it made it impossible to recap.Д«ut La Brea вЂ¦ this show вЂ¦ this show fucking infuriates me. I didnвЂ™t hate Manifest - I didnвЂ™t love it, mind you - but I almost respected how insane and illogical the whole thing was.

I didnвЂ™t like what he was doing, but he had a vision. I genuinely hated The Orville, but at least Seth MacFarlane was trying to do something. As hate blogs go, this might be the king of all hate blogs. Welcome to the 2021-2022 hate blog, and you guys: youвЂ™ve picked a doozy.

Outlander great dumps on stupid game of thrones